Friday, March 26, 2010

So i'm going to be E-Stimmed....

Mistress took me to the sex shop... bizarrely, it is something i get really humiliated by and i get very nervous in there! The daft thing is i have been in a fair few times on my own. Mistress knows it makes me nervous and i really do get properly hot under the collar and not in a good way! She often makes me go and buy toys and items that She can use on me. It is a task She sets and i have to complete it or a transgression mark goes into Her book and depending on the number of transgressions against good behaviour, well, you can guess the rest...

This time Mistress decided to come with me. W/we had been discussing electrosex and various E-Stimming, but neither of us has ever played with this before. W/we have read a lot about it and followed some of Mistress Watchful’s posts but i guess there is nothing like the real thing.

So when we got into the shop Mistress spotted E-Stim kits on the shelf from the following company:

It does appear that many of these things exist and the prices range across several hundreds of pounds. W/we debated the issue and the incredibly friendly shop staff set up a demo! It’s not quite what you might think... i had to keep my clothes on! The shop assistant asked me to remove my wedding ring and watch and told me to hold one of the metal ‘lumps’ and she would hold the other. When she touched me there was a strange numbing/tingling feeling, very much lke pins and needles, like when you have slept on your arm and all the blood comes back in. WIERD! What was really odd was when She made Her touch lighter the feeling of the current got MUCH tinglier, it made me jump back, She laughed as it was on the lowest setting of 18 possible levels!!! Needless to say, as a total slut and a Tri Sexual (i will try anything once...) Mistress agreed to purchase the device.

As we have never tried this we stuck with a ‘relatively’ cheap E-Stim Series 1 (still cost £100.00 mind!) The kit consists of 4 pads, a unit and comes with a battery too. It does appear that there are a ton of add-ons for the system, rings for the cock, balls, anal plugs and even a urethral sound!! Really??? Electric shocks INSIDE your cock??? Has anyone tried that?

Mistress told me W/we would not play with the device as soon was W/we were at home and that i would have to wait until She decided to get the system out and ‘experiment on my slutty little arse’ i am unsure as to whether She means my slutty little cock hungry arse specifically, or just as a general term to describe what an utter slut She has made me into. Either way i am getting E-Stimmed this week-end and i am very nervous as to what it will be like.... and very excited about seeing what it is like, talk about conflicted... i may well be back to blog about this after the week-end...

Forcing me to control myself - Serving Celtic Queen

i haven't posted in my blog for a while, so here is an update on my last training session that Mistress conducted last night. The aim of the session was to test my ejaculatory control.

Mistress asked me to go and collect a series of toys and devices from the toy box that She thought 'will amuse Me whilst I play with you'

Mistress had recently bought me some lovely gifts including a beautiful steel butt plug with a red jewel set in the handle to decorate my slutty little butt with. She found this purchase highly amusing and was keen to try it out. i went to the toy box and got the following items:

  • The new steel butt plug as above
  • The clover nipple clamps
  • The heart shaped paddle (Mistress loves the little white hearts it leaves in the reddened skin!)
  • The Flogger
  • The Steel Butt Hook
i knelt before my Mistress as She collared me. She then removed my cage and checked Her property was performing well. i had been trying not to become erect without Her permission, and was doing really well. Mistress then used Her soft firm toned voice and told me that a soft cock was not going to be a lot of use to Her as she was planning on an ejaculatory control session and i had better present Her with a useable cock rather quickly. i didn't need Her 'encouragement' that always takes the form of the butterfly crop....

my Mistress then instructed me to get my wrist and ankle restraints and made me place these on as fast as i could or risk 'encouragement'.... Fortunately i was either really fast, or Mistress was really kind... i guess it was the latter, Mistress is always kind and only punishes or 'encourages' me when i need it.

Mistress then took the clover clamps and placed them on my nipples.... the sting was really intense for a few seconds, it always makes me gasp first time on and Mistress doesn't like me complaining, i was told not to make a sound for the second clamp... i took the second clamp in silence which really pleased Her and she said i had done well. i wasn't expecting the next bit....

Mistress took my wrists and hooked the clips on my wrist cuffs to the clover clamps and told me to keep my hands up. Obviously if i lowered them then i would be pulling on my nipples and hurting them even more than the clamps already were as the bit into my soft flesh.

Mistress then made me close my eyes and stand still, all the time keeping my hands up so i didn't stretch my tortured nipples. I felt something slip over my head and face, it was soft and lacy and then it was pulled tight behind my head. The scent of my Mistress' beautiful pussy teased my senses, She had granted me the privileged of having Her knickers and Her scent as a distraction for what was to come.. ( it certainly wasn't going to be me...!!

my arms were getting tired and i could feel a burning in my forearms as the muscles wanted to lower, i decided to experiment and see how far i could lower my arms before the slack in the links pulled them nipple clamps tighter.... not far as it turned out! The pain in my nipples made me gasp which got me a swift reprimand and the command to raise my arms higher. i complied with Her command and lifted my arms up to where they had been. 'No no no' She said, 'Higher...' Mistress had decided to teach me to keep them where She wanted them by making me stretch my nipples upwards. The burning made me breathe harder and harder whilst i tried to comply with Her commands and keep quiet yet raise my arms.

Mistress made me hold this for about 30 seconds then granted me relief by putting my arms where they should have been all the time. i was in no hurry to test Her resolve to teach me to keep them where they should be...

Mistress then took hold of my rock hard cock.... God it was amazing to feel Her soft touch and firm grip on Her shaft, i had not been touched on Her cock for some length of time and the feeling of intimacy and submission was fabulous.

i couldn't see anything, but all the time i could feel her soft knickers on my face and the scent of Her pussy filled my mind and my senses as i breathed heavily whilst holding my commanded arm position.

Mistress then commanded me to kneel, then to place my head on the floor, all the time trying not to stretch my nipples or to move the position of Her knickers on my face.

i felt Mistress separate my buttocks and heard the 'snap' as the lid came off the KY... and then the sharp shock of ice cold lube being placed on my anal opening... i was breathing hard and my cock, rock hard from the excitement and anticipation, was running like a tap as pre cum flowed from me, i felt the waves of pleasure as Mistress stroked my anus and then felt the REALLY cold shock as she inserted my new beautiful butt plug in one smooth swift move! I gasped, and Mistress delivered quick retribution with a sharp smack on my arse and told me to be silent.

i was the commanded to stand and i felt Mistress take Her shaft in Her hand. There was lube in Her hand and She began long slow lovely rhythmic movements of Her hand up and down the shaft of Her cock. Mistress whispered in Her firm soft voice into my ear.... '....Don't cum.. you know the consequences...' i was overwhelmed by Her scent, Her touch, Her intimacy and Her absolute control over me as she stroked me and stroked me. The urge to pump cum was mind bending, i was breathing hard and trying to keep my arms where Mistress had commanded me too. The pleasure between my legs was amazing but the fear of orgasm and the consequences where forefront in my mind, too much so, and i left my arms drop... the pain in my nipples hit me and completely changed my focus from my raging hard cock to the shock of the pain... and then the urge to orgasm went... my Mistress is really clever, she had set this up. She laughed as i gasped at the nipple pain and she said 'I can't believe it took you so long....' i couldn't take the nipple pain anymore and bought my arms up and the relief was wonderful and washed over me like a gentle caresses from my Mistress. The waves of pleasure from my cock began to bring me back to the point of orgasm and i fought hard not to cum. Mistress edged me very close and i had to distract myself.... so my arms went up this time and i managed to prevent my orgasm from overwhelming me. i went through this wonderful cycle of nipple agony and cock ecstasy to the point of orgasm 3 times when suddenly Mistress commanded me to kneel again with my head on the floor.

Mistress then reached between my legs and again griped Her shaft and pulled the stiff cock back towards my arse and began to gently stroke the glans of Her cock.

i silently steeled myself against the awesome pleasures that Mistress was creating deep inside me and my groin ached for orgasm as she stroked me and gently increased the pressure on Her shaft by pulling it further back into the ball sack. The submission i was feeling as i desperately tried to obey the command not to ejaculate was fabulous. i had to concentrate on my commands, but this time i couldn’t easily use my nipple torture to help take the focus from my cock.... Mistress pushed me right to the edge and i knew i couldn't hold my cum anymore.... i begged Her to allow orgasm, of course even as the words left my mouth i knew the futility of them. Mistress simply removed Her hand from her cock and left me breathing hard desperate to suppress the orgasm that was so near, i was just at that point of absolute no return, how does She know???? If She had left it a nanosecond more i would have been hosing cum from my raging hard cock. Mistress just left me there leaking pre cum and breathing hard.... I had succeeded with Her guidance and Her training i had not cum and She was pleased with me....

All i want to do is please and pleasure Her. My reward for achieving my goal was to serve my Mistress with my tongue and bring Her to a most deserved Orgasm it is the best way to show my appreciation of Her training and Guidance.

My forming thoughts on Submission and BDSM Relationships

The Role of the Dominant

There is one primary role of the Domme. Control of Her sub. This can be exercised in a many ways coupled to all sorts of techniques from physical control to psychological control and manipulation of Her sub to meet her desires and needs.

Physical control can be via bondage, psychological control can be via goals and rewards underwritten by discipline and punishment. In most D/s relationships the main control of the sub is via sexual control. The Domme's role is to set the agenda and develop the subs capabilities in areas of submission the Domme wishes to explore with Her sub. The sub maybe placed in a position of stress or jeopardy that require concentration and stamina to advance his ability to process pain, pleasure or both. Subs are often ‘edged’ by their Domme to teach orgasm control. Many Dommes enjoy this as they can see the huge conflict that arises in a sub desperate to cum, but more desperate not to fail his Domme.

The Responsibilities of the Dominant

Above all things the Dominant is charged with the highest level of trust that can exist between two people. In the case of a Domme, she may have the trust of multiple subs. This does not dilute Her responsibility for the trust She holds for each sub in Her service. A Domme’s duties, responsibilities and needs vary per Domme and it is a duty of Her sub to ensure full understanding of these. Especially Her needs. There are in my belief many areas of responsibility that are common to all Dommes and are categorised as follows:
  1. Trust
    1. Trust is built by creating a safe, secure environment where subs can be trained, pushed and developed as the Domme needs. This allows both to explore outside usual social controls.
  2. Articulation
    1. Clearly articulating required behaviours, both in general, and during a scene.
  3. Behaviour Modification
    1. Encouraging the sub to do Her will and Service with appropriate levels of reward and punishment to produce the required behaviours.
    2. Training Her sub to accept more of that which the Domme wishes the sub to experience. For example, chastity training as a sexual frustration technique to ensuring the washing and laundry are done to the correct standards.
  4. Discipline and Punishment
    1. There is a school of thought that if punishment is required, the Dommes discipline is not being respected. i believe this is an over simplification and sometimes subs will transgress due to lack of ability to meet the Dommes's requirements. Further sub training is required to achieve the goals. Punishment should be administered for wilful transgressions or slack standards the sub understood.
  5. Respect for the submissive
    1. The Domme should always appreciate the gift of submission and control. This is inextricably linked to Trust. However the Domme should also encourage the sub to experiment with new Scenes ideas that are a natural part of a Dommes creativity.
  6. Communication
    1. The Domme should encourage clear communication. It is vital for the Domme to monitor him and ensure he is not trying to over achieve on a task or a Scene that is beyond him just to try and please Her.
The Needs of the Domme

The needs Dommes will be unique but i believe there are some basic needs that all Dommes need servicing. The finer needs are so wide and varied that it is not possible, in this essay at least, to detail all that there could be. As such i will limit this to the wider and most basic needs that my observations suggest Dommes require subs.

Basic Common Needs

1. Respect
a. Subs should maintain a respectful attitude towards their Domme at all times and to all Her friends or Guests. No respect means no D/s relationship can exist.
2. Obedience
a. Compliance with all commands and tasks issued by the Domme as fast as possible by the sub and to the standard the Domme requires. Over delivery is always pleasing!
3. Control
a. Dommes, by their nature need to feel and be in control at all times. This extends to Their environment and all aspects of it. Any part of the environment the sub is involved in will mean the Domme will expect Her control to extend over the sub completely. The Domme may well wish to control Her sub when he is not present and there are methods that can be employed, such as male chastity devices, task setting and even control over how Her sub dresses and appears in public.
4. Recognition and Thanks
a. A Domme needs to know, as part of feeling in control of Her sub, that she is appreciated and the effort that She puts into his domination takes Her time and imagination. She needs to know that Her sub appreciates this effort She makes to help him submit and to explore his submission. However it must not be overlooked that whilst the sub has the comfort and support of his Domme, She has none that is so immediately available as it is to the sub being comforted after his Domme has completed a Scene. The Domme needs to be in control. However a respectful and grateful sub will know how to help his Domme and support Her in special ways. These will be discussed laterin the the roles, responsibilities and needs of a sub.
The Role of the submissive

The primary role of the submissive is to please his Domme. Many secondary roles exist, but pleasing his Domme is overriding.

The key factor to recognise is that the sub’s role is a doormat to be abused without detrimental impact on the D/s relationship. Many subs are articulate, intelligent and thoughtful and that can have a great contribution to the life and pleasures of the Domme.

The sub should appreciate that his Domme may well wish to test him and his limits to develop these to a mutually beneficial and rewarding experience for both. subs should test themselves and help the Domme with high levels of communication. The sub should self monitor to ensure he is not expecting too much of his Domme.

The Responsibilities of the submissive

The sub has many responsibilities:

1. Respect
a. The sub must show respect at all times. This respect EXTENDS beyond the Scene. Respect must always be in the forefront of his mind.
2. Honesty
a. If a sub is given standards of behaviour or tasks to do he must report to his Domme any transgressions he makes. She will determine what course of action to take. The sub will know, because of Trust, he will be dealt with fairly by his Domme.
3. Anticipation of the Domme’s Needs
a. The sub should learn as much about his Domme's specific needs. He should then try his best to anticipate when those needs should be attended to and in what priority.
4. Obedience
a. The sub should obey any instruction given by his Domme. These instructions are not limited to by a Scene, but include all public commands for service in even the most vanilla situations.
5. Acceptance
a. The sub must realise his Domme knows her own mind. She got there because she is capable, able and proven as a person. She does not need advice. Above all She does not need to be questioned. The Domme will ask for assistance or command it when She needs it, or feels it will further extend Her control over Her sub
6. Behaviour
a. The sub must always maintain high levels of good manners and behaviour. he is a representation of his Domme and a direct reflection of Her. Any transgression in behaviour, especially in public would be seen by other Dommes as a failure of Her control over him. No sub should ever embarrass his Domme, he is letting them both down. Especially Her.
Needs of the submissive

The needs of each sub will vary, but i believe that subs across the range of the BDSM world have the following needs:

1. To be submissive
a. The need to release control and be allowed to do things that may seem ‘wrong’. However the fact he has been commanded to do it, or experience it by his Domme means he feels the purity of the experience without the social guilt that maybe judged by the vanilla world.
2. Assurance
a. The sub needs to be encouraged with assurance from his Domme that he is pleasing Her. The sub further needs to feel he is achieving things at a personal and is allowing his Domme to explore Her own desires.

These relationships are complex. They test the sub and the Domme, they require deep levels of communication and Trust. Any of these type of relationships need a lot of effort and determination and can be difficult, but with willing partners they develop very quickly and deeply. my experience has been stimulating and motivating. Pleasing my Domme is a key, major driver. my own pleasure at a physical ejaculation level has changed to that of deriving huge joy from my Dommes pleasures.

My masculinity has been redefined as not about my sex, but my ability to please, and honour my Domme.